“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars.”
Since 2005, Cary Valentine, certified relationship coach has transformed the lives of hundreds of couples and singles to be deeply in love and satisfied in every aspect of their lives.
Co-author with his late wife, Wendy of the best-selling book, IN LOVE FOREVER: 7 Secrets to a Joyous, Juicy Relationship and is a frequent guest on radio and TV shows across America. Featured in the San Francisco Chronicle, Honolulu Advertiser, relationship columnist and host of the In Love Forever TV show (2015). Valentine is also an international performing drummer and percussionist who has performed with Dizzy Gillespie, Kevin Cronin (REO Speedwagon) David Pack (Ambrosia), Trini Lopez, Michael Ruff (Lionel Richie) and Makana.
Cary has lived for a year in South America, mostly in Brazil where he performed and recorded with many musicians expanding his love for Samba and learned to speak Portuguese. He also traveled through Argentina, Peru, Bolivia & Uruguay. Cary’s love for the arts extends to writing and performing original poetry and narrating audio books. He produced and narrated the Divine Inspirations of Florence Scovel Shinn.
Over the last 22 years, Cary has discovered, birthed and refined an innovative 7-step relationship system to a juicy life together. When applied, these tools will instantly make a huge difference in one's life, setting a trajectory of unprecedented joy. Cary knows this is a bold statement to make, however, he can 100% guarantee this claim, successfully bed tested by dozens of couples and singles.
Cary knows what it’s like to live in an immense amount of pain and unhappiness. In 2001, he hit a wall with his wife, Wendy. They shockingly found themselves after 13 years together, on the brink of divorce, shaking them to their core. They asked themselves “How the heck did we get here?” They were yoga instructors, massage therapists, self-help workshop presenters and did many years of their own personal growth work, such as long meditation retreats, couples counseling and more.
They still cared for each other but were dried up, frustrated and had no idea how to get out of this mess. Deep inside each of them, they were still carrying an unending cycle of negative patterns, beliefs and toxic shame that would resurface no matter what they did.
Ironically, at the time they were running an Ayurvedic health spa in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, where they administered enough enemas for a lifetime! Cary “roasts” himself of how his menu of life became very limited, reflected by his strict organic diet regime.
Cary was talented and received recognition through awards and performances with renowned musicians around the world but was insecure about his abilities as a drummer and percussionist. Haunted by a black cloud of doubts, shyness and lack of confidence since childhood; later these doubts amplified later as he struggled with believing in his ability to be financially successful and to please Wendy intimately.
Wendy, was tormented by years of doubts of not feeling beautiful enough. She struggled with food issues and a deep insecurity about her body image and singing abilities. Nothing she did ever worked to end these painful programs in her head.
Though the spa was flourishing, they clearly were not. Driven to get to the bottom of what was ailing them. They closed the spa, sold their home and just about everything they owned and moved to the remote desert of southwestern Idaho (where the closest neighbor was 5 miles away). Rattlesnakes, coyotes, badgers, deer and their 2 cats kept them company for 4 years while they lived like monks and steadfastly worked like scientists, alongside their dear friends Dan & Heather Jordan.
This bare boned existence cracked them open to be honest like never before, leading them to develop effective tools to “complete & delete” any and all stories of unhappiness and pain. Their lives became bearable again and like a phoenix rising out of the ashes they began to start a new juicy life individually and as a couple. Cary realized the level of doubt equals the level of brilliance awaiting to blossom out of a person.
He is excited to say that he is no longer living in the heavy black cloud of doubt and despair. He now sees that these doubts have always been his friends, training him to become all that he deeply desires, through the power of choice.
Cary is very understanding and compassionate to one's pain and knows that with desire to change anyone can and will break free into glorious states of happiness and success. It may be scary to admit, that you are unhappy about certain areas in your life, but through this honesty you will crack the code to “end your war” and all your dreams will come true.
Whatever is haunting you, the bestselling book In Love Forever will demonstrate how to quickly turn your doubts / fears inside out and quickly actualize your dreams.
In 2012, after a 2 year odyssey with brain cancer (glioblastoma multiforme) Wendy passed on. Cary profoundly learned that life is precious and to appreciate every moment, where he daily pinches himself appreciating the stunning beauty of Kaua’i.